Before I start writing, can I make it crystal clear that Gwyn and I are ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL and these ramblings BEAR NO REFLECTION ON OUR RELATIONSHIP WHATSOEVER.

 

A friend recently had a small grumble to me about the person they were dating.  They weren't getting everything they wanted from that person and was considering what, if any, future they could possibly have together this being the case.  That got me thinking.  Are we wrong to want everything from one source? Where did the notion come from that a partner has to be a friend, confidant, bread winner, nurse, parent, chauffer, security blanket, lover and more? Is one person capable of providing all of these things and maintain a fair role in a healthy relationship? Are we being grossly unfair expecting, demanding even, all of these things? Just how much pressure is being put on the person being put upon to give so much? I say 'person' because a relationship is rarely, truly 50/50.  One party always gives more than the other, despite how 'new age' the guy may think he is or how 'womens lib' the chick is.  One may have a higher sex drive - where's the 50/50 in that? One inevitably earns more - the 50/50 is where here exactly? In each of these examples, one person in the relationship is giving more than the other.  In the first example, the member of the couple fielding the lower option is expected to have a more active or frequent part in the intimate side of the relationship than ideally they would like.  Is it wrong for their partner to expect a physical element to the relationship in addition to the other elements that partner is already bringing to the table?

 

Maybe we can look at it like this: are we harming ourselves by expecting a partner to give us everything we need? Would it kill you to take a friend shopping instead of your boyfriend? Would it be the worse thing to go to the rugby with your mates instead of dragging the wife along? Even if we in turn give our partner everything they want and need, should we demand the same in return? Is it harmful to get everything from one source? If a third person gives you what you need, you partner can't give you what you need (for whatever reason), is it wrong to take that thing from the third person? I don't mean anything particular here (and I am NOT advocating extra-marital jiggery pokery of any description) - it can be as innocent as taking a friend to see a chick-flick or action film instead of your boy/girl friend.  Or it can be something far more serious such as taking a lover: your partner gives you love, affection, companionship, is an excellent provider/home-maker, makes you laugh, you socialise together, have family together, are fulfilled with each other in every which way possible but one.  Is the relationship doomed because the physical side is lacking? For every person that says 'yes', there is a person who would say 'no, not necesarily'.  I read a report in She magazine last weekend that the percentage of women having very infrequent sex despite being in a long-term relatinship is rapidly increasing, yet the relationships are going on strong.  These people clearly aren't getting everything they need from one person and they seem to be doing alright by it.

 

While one friend is pondering breaking up with a perfectly nice guy just because he won't go to the types of films she likes (and he loathes), another friend is planning a wedding.  It doesn't matter what their wedding day is like, aparently, as it's 'a piece of paper at the end of the day'.  I was quite surprised how horified I was that (a) they felt like this and (b) are going ahead with the wedding while feeling like this.  A wedding and subsequent marriage is WAAAAYYY more than a piece of paper and should never be entered into lightly (take not Britney, Pamela and anyone else that gets married at the drop of a g-string).  My Godfather's wife gave me an awesome piece of advice when my husband and I were planning our wedding: "Don't spend too much time focusing on the wedding day when you are going to be spending the rest of your life married to each other.  Focus on your marriage and being good to each other.".  I couldn't agree more.  My friend is looking a little bit more defeated every time I see them.  It's heartbreaking but what can you do? Tell them they need to take a good long look at the relationship as it is today, how they see it in a year, how they see it in five years? Ask what do they really want for their life? Remind them they have one life to live, they can't do it over and only they can make themselves truly happy? I wouldn't say they were being bullied into getting married but it's probably something they would have done, had the proposal not come up when it did.  I'm all for 2 carat princess cut diamonds in a channel-set platinum band but even I would draw the line at marrying someone that self-centred just to have the ice on my finger.

I'm having a surreal iPod day today.  Last weekend I *finally* got round to filling the gorgeous, fabulous, glossy red iPod that darling husby bought me for my birthday back in July.  So today I'm sitting in work with the songs on shuffle.  I should have known I was in for a strange time of it when the first song was "What's new pussycat?" by H.R.H. Tom Jones.  That morphed into "HRT" by Goldie Looking Chain, which made me ROAR with laughter all the way through it.  I haven't heard that track before and it is absolute quality.  Mozart's "Marriage of Figaro" calmed me down after the GLC, then came Ten Pole Tudor.  LOTS of random other songs by such music behemoths (!!!) as Wham!, Aha, Transvision Vamp and The Soup Dragons followed.

 

The Beastie Boys and Metallica levelled my quirky music morning and the day has been rounded off, musically speaking, by the complete Def Leppard back catalogue.  AAAAHHHHH (don't mind me, just in the middle of a Joe Elliott acid-flashback).

 

No doubt I'm going to go home, wipe the pod and put my normal music on it.  But then again, maybe I won't...

Australia, with it's sun, healthy outdoor culture and a 'special' factor that I am not at liberty to mention here has beckoned... and my good friend Hannah has answered it's call.  She emigrates this Thursday.

 

Cassie, Gwyn and I went to the City Bar & Canteen (Cardiff Bay) on Saturday night after MorningSt*r's rookie gig (more on that in another blog entry) to see our friend and say goodbye.  It was awesome seeing her but however good that felt, it was completely negated by the fact that my friend was leaving and it's not too far-fetched to say I may never see her in the flesh again.

 

Hannah: My memories of you are all absolutely diamond - who can forget all the nights of debauchery that ended up with you suddenly announcing "F&ck you all, I'm going to Kings", spinning round on your heels and swanning off down St Mary's Street.  I'm very, very sad to see you go but I'm stoked for you at the same time.

 

Go forth darling, have fun, be safe and have beautiful, beautiful babies together ; )

 

xxx

Good evening and welcome to The Nacho Awards 2007.  Let's waste no more time in getting the ceremony under way.

 

Mariachi's certainly know how to pile the topping onto their nachos.  The chilli was tasty and very plentiful, with lots of other goodies to boot.  Quite possibly the nicest food we had all weekend.

 

Not the cheapest, not the largest but certainly the best dressed.  Each nacho carefully laid out on the serving dish then individually dressed with it's toppings.  Solid, dependable, delicious.

 

The Volcano Nachos we were presented with at a recent visit to Jimmy Buffett's Margaritaville left us slack jawed and lost for words.  To give you some idea of the sheer enormity of this collosal serving of nachos we put a bottle of Heinz Tomato Ketchup next to it.  The Volcano rose a good three inches above the top of the ketchup bottle, whereas width wise you are looking at the serving plate being a good eleven inches in diameter (and that's real inches, not man inches).  These things are HUGE.  Husby and I managed to get through about a third of this enormous appetiser (!) and had to get our server to take the rest away.  We then waddled back up the boulevard to our hotel to sleep them off.

 

Our friend Shawn makes killer nachos.  Each layer lovingly set on top of it's predecesor, Shawn's nachos are a sight to behold and a delight to eat.  More a main course than an appetiser, the recipe for these award-winning nachos (lol) is known to only two people: Shawn and his bombshell wife Jo.

 

These are nachos at their rockin' best.  Tasty, plentiful and with awesome guac...

So I finally went to Scotland.  Husby and I just spend two days in Edinburgh.  It was very busy and very, very cold.  Thanks to Jamie for his advice  Valvona & Crolla were successful in extracting some money from me and the 1 o'clock gun was worth hanging round for, if only to see the tourists all jump 6ft in the air when it went off.

*sighs* Am currently wallowing in a post-gig glow of contentment.  Husby (totally dragged there against his will) and I went to Scotland last weekend to see Fall Out Boy play in The Corn Exchange.  Not a bad venue as it goes... not bad at all.

The crowd were well up for it, and thankfully a little older than the crowd at Fall Out Boy's gig in Bridgend earlier this year.  Seriously, I was easily twice the age of most of the audience.  One bloke did start off a conversation with 'So your kids like this stuff too then' but made a hasty retreat when I told him I didn't have kids and was there to see the band myself.

The band were awesome.  You may not like Emo or 'get' Emo kids or F.O.B. but you have to admire a band who can sing, play their instruments and work the crowd at the same time.  F.O.B. are one of the few bands I've seen that sound as good live as they do on CD if not better.  There's nothing worse than seeing a band that can't play their instruments or sound as rough as ten bears live *coughs*Bon Jovi*coughs*.  I can't say that about F.O.B.

 

All in all, a cracking way to spend a Saturday night and was by far my favourite part of our Edinburgh trip.

Thank you Ally for this questionnaire : )

 

My jeep is dying.

 

I can't begin to express just how upset I am by this.  She went for her MOT today and they found a ton of rust on her chassis.  Apparently once the chassis starts getting rusty, that's the beginning of the end.  She's not even that old - she turns 10 on August 1st.  I know that my gorgeous, curvaceous, glossy red Suzuki X-90 isn't everyone's cup of tea but she's my baby and I love her.  She certainly provokes a reaction: sometimes it's 'Wow I LOVE your car' and sometimes it's 'What the **** are you driving that for????' but I adore my Xena (as in warrior jeep) to bits.

 

Those of you who know me, know how crazy I am about my jeep.  She is lush to drive and can turn on a sixpence.  She practically parks herself and is a bit quick off the lights, especially if some plank in a tricked-out corsa next to her is giving her the evil eye.  There is little better in this life than being in her on a summer's day, roof off, sun blazing down, rock music blasting, husby by my side.

 

And dad, you can stop calling her a tomato on wheels when you like... and no, I wouldn't have preferred a Clio.

 

Yes I know she's just a car, that she just gets me from A to B but to me she's more than that.  When I needed to disappear and go to a safe place, she held my hand and delivered me to a new life.  She's been my sanctuary, my safe haven, my own little world.  When I'm in her, no-one can hurt me.  Not that anyone in my life now would hurt me.  But for a while when I was younger, it wasn't like that.  Xena rescued me, in her own way, and the two of us rode off into the sunset together.

 

To let her go (when she does fall apart) is going to be horrendous.  I'm not going to sell her, I'm not going to replace her before I absolutely have to, I'm going to have her disposed of.  I couldn't bare to see someone else drive her.  Ooh and thank you (you know who you are) for the offer of your mate's number who will help me out for £20, a gallon of petrol and a zippo... I couldn't do that to my baby girl.

So I was online last night, trawling round the web, not looking for anything in particular when I happened upon Fall Out Boy's website.  And what's this? No, it couldn't be... a date added to their current UK tour... in Edinburgh... wait, and there are tickets available?

 

*tappity tappity tappity* <sharp intake of breath> "I can get flights from Cardiff that would get me there in time for the gig... and it's only £10 each way?"

*tappity tappity* (clomp downstairs to get wallet) *tappity tappity tappity*

 

Getting tickets for the gig and booking the flights took maybe quarter of an hour (and that includes me getting v. stroppy with BMI Baby when they kept trying to force me to pre-book seats at £12.95 per seat each way despite me clicking the 'not on your nelly mate' button during checkout).  Trying to get a hotel room that wasn't in The Balmoral Hotel (at £500+ per night) took me from just before midnight until quarter to three.  No I'm not making this up.  It turns out the last few days of a little local get-together called The Edinburgh Fringe Festival happens to be going at the same time that Pete & the boys unleash their Emo loveliness on bonny Scotland.  AGH. Even hotels 20 minutes out of town were fully booked.

 

But, being the determined online vampire-bat that I am, Husby and I are no longer sleeping in the castle grounds but will be snuggly tucked up in a hotel room.

I'm finally going to Scotland

 

WOO-HOO!!!